I'm a lonely boy

It's finally technically fall, though it hasn't much felt like it of late, the last sticky vestiges of summer seemingly determined to keep hold for as long as possible. Still, Chrissy can appreciate the fact that at least it's been quieter out on the boardwalk as a result, school being back in session and the weather not being quite as hot holding some of the usual crowds at bay. Today it's a little nicer, anyway, with grey clouds overhead and scattered showers throughout the afternoon, weather that makes her feel like she can breathe a bit easier. She needs that lately. There's no getting around the fact that it's been a difficult few months, in the wake of Eddie being turned into a vampire and all of the ways her life has changed as a result. She's been trying hard to keep everything together, juggling her day job with a newly nocturnal boyfriend, doing whatever she can to maintain some semblance of normalcy. If that sometimes means she goes a couple days without sleeping and tends to eat even less often than she sleeps, well, that's not entirely new for her. She knows how to run on fumes while plastering on a smile and saying she's fine. She is fine. Of course she's fine, because she has to be. There isn't any alternative but to keep telling herself that. And while it hasn't escaped her notice that a few of her friends sometimes look at her with concern in their eyes, it just makes her all the more determined to soldier on. Sooner or later, she'll get used to all of this.

Granted, she's been telling herself that for a while now, longer than she would have expected to be. She stands by it even so, despite the building knot of anxiety in her chest and the little voice in the back of her head that's been slowly getting louder, saying that something has to give eventually.

When something does give, it's entirely without fanfare — just a typical weekday afternoon, nothing any different than it has been for the last weeks on end. Chrissy is heading home from work, en route to the bus stop nearest the block of the boardwalk where she works. While she used to just walk, this has become more typical for her, at least when she feels like she does now, a little lightheaded, tired from being awake for almost two full days and spending a whole shift on her feet. More than a little lightheaded, as it turns out. The overcast sky means that it isn't very bright, but her vision starts to turn white around the edges as her head spins and she stumbles a step. Just a little further, she tells herself, and she can sit at the bus stop until the bus comes.

She doesn't get there. The next thing Chrissy knows, she's on the sidewalk by the bus stop, a few people crouched around her, someone's backpack under her head. One person is on their cell phone, calling for an ambulance; Chrissy opens her mouth to protest but finds that she doesn't quite have the strength. From what the small group of people tells her, she fainted just before she could sit down, mercifully not hitting her head on cement. Not knowing what else to do, they'd called for help. She can't tell whether to be grateful or devastated, winding up somewhere in between.

Things happen quickly after that, all a blur. EMTs arrive, check her vitals, and say she should come in to have more tests done, and she lets them transport her, mostly because she doesn't want them to have wasted the trip, even though she kind of thinks they did. She dozes off intermittently, but sends texts to Eddie and some of her friends when she can: hey i'm at the hospital. i'm okay! apparently passed out or something after leaving work and freaked some people out. don't want you to worry but will keep you posted. Having determined that she's dehydrated, among other things, they give her an IV and a bed.

Only when a concerned-looking nurse comes in and lets her know that a psychiatrist will be in to talk to her soon does the weight of everything start catching up to her. Maybe it's time to admit that she isn't so fine after all. That, in some ways, she hasn't been for a long time.

[ Timed to Wednesday afternoon into evening. Chrissy is having an inevitable little breakdown with some of her mental health shit finally coming to a head. I have plans for her to actually get some help after this, but for now, feel free to tag her at any point during this post. Friends are especially welcome, but strangers are totally fine, too. Feel free to hit me up with any questions. Open until this says otherwise. ]